Choosing God's path...always: July 2012

What an amazing weekend I have had. I spent the past 4 days staffing at the Archdiocese Youth Conference at the Hilton Hotel in Downtown Houston! Prior to starting the conference I received a very extensive (and exciting) packet in the mail from Maryknoll.

The packet consisted of:......
What to bring to NY for orientation
Financial matters
Transportation
Medical matters
Professional Licenses
Loan deferments
Mission education and sending
Notifications to local churches and communities
and.....
Discernment, covenant and contract

Receiving this packet excited me...initially....until I started to read and that's when I started to worry, get scared and become quite anxious. Don't get me wrong, I am pumped to be called to this mission but my "human self" began to worry. I started to worry about FINANCES!! What am I going to do about my student loans...I know I can defer them...(Thank God) but what about interest? I began to worry about missing my family, friends and Houston in general...all the beautiful things I will miss out on (my mom's new school opening up, my dad becoming a deacon, my brother graduating college...finally :) and my twin sister starting her new job and new life). I also worried about whether this is what God wants me to do in my life or not. All of these human questioning and worrying I expected to have eventually... so, I decided to read over the packet again, BUT this time I read it with a different mindset. I told myself that I am so blessed to be given this opportunity and that God has great plans for me and for the community/people I serve in El Salvador.

Even through my most anxious and yet weakest moments I will be strong because God has given me such opportunity and strength. So after reading through it yet another time (by now I think i have read it about 7 or 8 times) I am filled with excitement and wonder.

Now, going back to the conference experience. The reason I want to talk about the conference so much is because it allowed me to stop and listen to what God is/ has been saying to me. This weekend was a roller coaster event of feelings of excitement to feelings of encouragement to feelings of extreme worry. When I mean extreme I mean that every time i began praising the Lord in song or in prayer I was brought to tears (of a little happiness but mostly fear). I believe that God brings us to situations and/or events for certain reasons. May it be to help us discover His will or for us to see what is of Him and what isn't.

Through out the weekend I developed many close friends. Some of whom I have met before but also some new! I was blessed to be in touch with these friends as well as meet some amazing key note speakers like Mark Hart, Steve Angrisano, and Brian Johnson (who I have known since High School). Every speaker and friend spoke to me and touched me in ways that I knew only God was in control of. Talks about doing God's will, being committed to God's will, being a strong individual who has courage to speak up for what they believe in, and most striking (for me) is the prayer Mark Hart asks us to pray every day:

"Lord, you're my Savior and I give you permission to take away anyone or anything that is keeping me away from sainthood and keeping me away from you".

My girlfriends: Christi, Irma and Christi with Mark Hart (the Bible Geek) at AYC

This prayer touched me so much because of the work I am going into. Before his talk that night Mark asks us who wants to be a Saint. When thinking about being/becoming a Saint I think about the meaning behind sainthood. I understand that a lot of what brings one to sainthood is the activeness and reverence of our lifestyles. So I quickly thought::: how am I living my life out for God? I know joining the missionary is going out and spreading God's Word and helping God's people but how am I doing that now?

I have a long time before I leave in October for New York...I wish I was leaving sooner. I often tell people that I feel like I am living in limbo just awaiting the moment I can leave and do God's will. But I must remember that there is alot of work to be done here. A lot of work for myself (in preparation for my mission and in healing the shame I have within myself) and much work for others.

So here is to living my journey in limbo for the next 2 months.

I look forward to the moments where God strengthen and heals me before I venture off to NY and El Salvador

Since my last blog I have happily found out that I will be serving in El Salvador. I had 6 countries to choose from (in order from my top choice to my last: El Salvador, Bolivia, Brazil, Cambodia, Kenya, and Tanzania). I am so blessed to receive my top choice and looking forward to learning Spanish and being completely engulfed in the culture. I found out that out of the 15 other missionaries being dispersed between all 6 countries that myself and one other person will be serving in El Salvador.

I will leave October 6 for Ossening, NY where I will be meeting all of the other missionaries. I am excited to meet new people. I wonder if there will be anyone else my age or if everyone is older and retired. I know that there are a few couples and some families as well as single people, like me, who will be there.

On December 15 my beautiful family will head to Ossening NY for the sending off ceremony! I'm not sure exactly what that will look like but all families are invited. Then I will head home for Christmas. This may be my last Christmas at home for the next 4 years (but don't worry, I will definitely be making it home at least once a year) so I'm excited to be able to spend this time with my family before I leave.

Finally........

I will be heading to El Salvador the first week in January!!!!! :)